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Jan

24

Is Whisky Better Than Haggis?

By Maltmannie

In the first scientific comparison of whisky against other Scottish produce, I proved whisky is better than diesel.

With Burn’s Night just a day away, what could be more fitting than the scientific comparison of whisky and haggis?

To the best of my knowledge this is a world exclusive, never before has the question is whisky better than haggis? been posed.

Whisky

a glass of whisky

Calories (per 100ml): 220kcal

Fat (per 100ml): 0

Cost (per 100ml): £1.42 – £1,428.00+

Ingredients: Water, Barley & Yeast.

Haggis

a freshly split haggis

Calories (per 100g): 270kcal

Fat (per 100g): 17.6g

Cost (per 100g): £0.35 – £0.75

Ingredients: Sheep’s heart, liver, lungs & windpipe encased in sheep’s stomach bag with fat, oatmeal & onions.


Yes, Whisky IS Better than Haggis

Whisky is 75% better than haggis. Sorry haggis and other sheep’s offal based foods, where whisky is aromatic you are pungent.

By method of scientific comparison I have proven whisky to be better than haggis. One is the water of life, the other tastes like a field of sheep smells. Whisky wins!

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Jan

13

Is Whisky Better Than Diesel?

By Maltmannie

Coming from Scotland, I thought it would be fun to compare some of our national products against whisky. This is the first comparison of it’s kind, to my knowledge the question is whisky better than diesel? has never been asked on the internet.

I intend to rectify that right now. This is history in the making folks.

Whisky

a glass of whisky

Flavour: Delicious, extreme variation

Time to produce: 3 – 30 years

Cost (UK): £10 – £10,000+

Uses:Drinking, Cooking & Fuel

Diesel

a rusting old diesel pump

Flavour: Vile

Time to produce: Millions of years

Cost (UK): £0.9 – £1.2

Uses:Fuel


Yes, Whisky IS Better than Diesel

Whisky is 75% better than diesel. Sorry diesel and all other oil based fuels, you’re no match for whisky.

So, it’s official. The only thing that could make diesel any worse is the price. It’s not only nasty but it’s cheap! Whisky wins!

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